It’s an awful thing, having a boyfriend. You pick one out to deter you from the rest of the assholes out there and for the sake of self-worth and sanity but in the end, it can be as debasing. They’ll smash you up against a wall then run to get a bag of frozen peas for your knee but then again if it’s better than the last guy who screamed at you on the drive home and made you almost break your ankle cos he let you alone to climb over a six-foot gate, drunk, you’re moving up in the world, must be. Love is a fickle thing and it gets uglier when you start to hate the ones you’re meant to love when really, you don’t hate them as much as you subconsciously hate how they make you feel. How the gut-wrenching feelings you’re feeling have been twisted by their unruly hands like a titty twister with accompanying background laughter. The truth is it’s really easy to like almost anyone for who they are. In our gallivanting youths we do what we can to not fall in love with our food. Then by the time we get too hungry, we marry. Love is the answer to keep ourselves from starvation. But not everyone wants to get fat on love. Couples do. They choose to gain weight together.
Nevertheless today was a fine day for us both. My boy is a good man. They all are when they’re ready to be. And the ones that aren’t will be good when their time is right, maybe not for you but for someone else. When life has caught up with them and they can finally learn to see the beauty in you because it takes them a while to learn what it looks like. It’s a frightening thing to stare into the eyes of that thing we’ve been looking for all this while. Especially when you never knew that it’s what you’ve been looking for your whole life because you thought all this while it was pussy.
I have eight weeks left before I have to hop onto that plane and leave Australia pretty much forever, leaving this poor boy here with it. In that time I hope to have my heart broken to smithereens for the fourth time in my life. That way I’ll know that I really did love him. Even if for just a year. If you take one for character building, you take one for the team. Go team.
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